


Standing On Your Shoes in My Bare Feet

by passionatelyroyal



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Flash Forward, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Love, Timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 01:41:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17478845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passionatelyroyal/pseuds/passionatelyroyal
Summary: The steady beat that binds us together, the one that keeps us alive.





	Standing On Your Shoes in My Bare Feet

**Author's Note:**

> Still here. Complete work of fiction, apologies to all involved. Title from 'Heartbeat' by Carrie Underwood. Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!!

1999  
The first time he suggested synching breathing, she looked at him like he was crazy. She was ten years old and in the backseat of his father’s car, their body pillow propped between them. He said that it would be easier to fall asleep if their shoulders were moving at the same time, instead of having the pillow jarred every few seconds. It sounded sensible, so she agreed, settling her hands on his shoulders as he counted out their breaths. Five minutes later, they leaned against the pillow, and she had to admit, it was more comfortable this way.  


2000  


She was eleven when her mother sat her down with their coach and had the longest seeming talk of her life. They explained about bodies, how things would be changing and that it would be okay if she outgrew him. They explained the actions of a thirteen-year-old boy and how she’s not to protest if he suddenly needs a break. They told her about the importance of sticking up for herself, and reporting if his hands touched her in the wrong places.  


They explained the importance of boundaries and of keeping their friendship first, and how she might feel different when he touched her. They emphasized the importance of communication, both with them and him, and believing in herself no matter the circumstances.  


She turned bright red the second her mother hauled out a diagram and stayed scarlet until she could go. She smashed into him in the hallway, his face a matching shade. She swallowed and looked him in the eye, her determination shining through.  


“I’m not outgrowing you.”  


“I’m not going to hurt you.”  


2004  


She was fourteen when she first realized that she might be in love with him. They had gone for a run in the neighborhood park, a three-mile-long trail mostly in the woods. Every time they ran this path, it was tradition to sprint from the trees to the edge of the pond, with the loser buying their coffee. He almost always beat her, but he almost always paid.  


Today though, she beat him by three steps, collapsing in a sweaty pile in the cool grass. He groaned and threw himself down beside her, panting as he rested a palm on his chest.  


“Feel this,” he muttered, reaching for her hand and placing it on the left side of his chest.  


His red t-shirt was damp as he dragged her hand around, settling it in the center of his heart. Her eyes grew wide as she felt the rapid beats, so violent that her hand seemed to be jumping with every thump.  


“Is yours that fast?”  


She placed her hand on her chest and shook her head.  


“Liar,” he muttered, shoving her hand aside and replacing it with his own.  


She felt her pulse quicken as his started to slow, a blush spreading across her already rosy cheeks.  


“Might be faster,” he commented, pushing his palm more firmly against her.  


She nodded dumbly and glanced at her hand, resting timidly in the center of his chest, at his fingers sprawled over hers.  


He met her eyes and smiled, removing his hand and pressing a kiss to hers as he helped her up.  


“Coffee’s on me,” he said, grinning.  


She nodded and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, pretending that she didn’t just have the biggest revelation of her life.  


2008  


The first time they were completely in sync, she was eighteen, two weeks before surgery and in the worst pain of her life. He invited himself over, brought a case of beer and crashed on her couch. That night, she drank more than she ever had before and crossed boundaries she had only dreamed they would break.  
After, they were sprawled on a blanket on the floor, his arms wrapped around her as she laid on top of him. His breath tickled her shoulder, his heart beat against hers.  


“Have to pee,” she muttered, dropping one last kiss on his lips as she rolled off.  


She wrapped herself in a spare blanket and tiptoed towards the bathroom.  


When she returned, he had arranged himself on her bed and was patting the space beside him.  
She nestled in and pillowed her head against his chest. His fingers wound around her hair, dropping kisses against her forehead. She could hear and feel each heartbeat and sighed in contentment, pressing her ear more firmly against his chest.  


“Hear anything good?” he asked, shoulders shaking with laughter.  


“It’s life. It sounds perfect,” she muttered, pressing kisses against his sternum.  


He held her tight and she slept soundly for the first time in months and they woke up together, breathing as one. Never did she imagine that such a perfect night could have such dire consequences.  


2010  


He keeps staring at the monitor, registering the beeps, rises and falls. It’s cold in here and he’s kind of jealous of the heated blankets wrapped around her. Nurses keep bustling in and out, checking to see if she’s awake. Her mother and sister flank either side of the bed, and they keep offering him small smiles that he thinks are supposed to be calming. He was told that the surgery went well and that they should be able to skate again. As long as he doesn’t lose her again, he thinks he’ll be fine with anything.  
He’d been sitting there for almost an hour, people keep coming in and out. He alternates between updating his mom, staring at the monitors and picking his thumb raw. He doesn’t like looking at her being so still.  


Her mother and sister are having a quiet conversation and stroking her hands as she blinks through the fog. Her eyes are unfocused as she glances around the room, lighting up as soon as her gaze lands on him.  


He grins and stands, reaching for the stuffed bear that he bought. It’s wearing a tutu and tiny figure skates and she reaches for it as soon as she sees it. He kisses her forehead and promises to visit tomorrow. She squeezes his hand, smiling despite the pain. They’re going to be okay.  


2012  


They promised it wouldn’t happen again. It couldn’t happen again. But they’re both mad and very, very drunk. Losing Worlds in her hometown shouldn’t have happened. But the narrative has changed and they’re no longer the fresh-faced darlings of the skating world. Their program this year is darker and steamier than in the past. She’s been channeling her frustration with him onto the ice and most of the time, it’s been working. But tonight was the last straw.  


Technically, he has a girlfriend. One that she hates. He doesn’t seem to care.  
It’s rough and raw, angry and passionate. All their tension melting away, the disappointment, the fear. It’s the exact opposite of the first time it happened, and she doesn’t let that bug her.  


The first time, it was making love, the tender joining of two like souls. It was sweet and pure like only the first time could be. She had felt loved and safe and everything had made sense.  


This time, they were fucking. Raw passion poured into each other, until they had nothing left to give. She collapses on top of him, his sweaty skin damp against her. She can feel his heart pounding beneath her, hammering into her soul and bringing tears into her eyes. She rests her hand on his chest, feels his breath gasping across her face. She’s crying and she doesn’t know how to stop.  


2016  


She can’t help but giggle. They are both clad in what is essentially a high-tech t-shirt and are practicing synching their heartbeats. It’s been a long day of training and she’s exhausted, and a little punchy. They’ve been at it for twenty minutes and have yet to get it right. Her hand is planted firmly on his chest and they’re trying to keep eye contact without breaking. It’s a harder task than it should be.  


He’s taken to tapping his finger every time he feels her heart beat and it’s oddly enduring, yet strangely distracting. She flashes him a smile and wills herself to focus on the steady thump beneath her palm. She takes a deep breath, in time with him and it’s as simple as that.  


The data that’s been gathered shows a remarkable similarity in how their bodies function. Every time her heartrate spikes, his follows suit, one beat later. Upon hearing that, he catches her eye across the conference table and winks. She feels her stomach flutter and wonders if his is doing the same.  


2017  


It’s the only place in the last 48 hours that he’s felt safe. Her fingers are working their way through his hair and she’s humming softly. The TV casts a warm light as she pulls the beige blanket tighter around his shoulders. He’s been able to stop crying but none of it really makes sense.  


One of his oldest and closest friends, gone. He’d grown up with this guy. They’d been the same age. And he was gone.  
He was lucky to have her here. She’d offered to withdraw, to leave Japan right after they landed. But he couldn’t do that to her. So, he let her hold him as long as he cried, curled onto her hotel room bed. She’d called his mom and brothers, made arrangements with their team, ordered dinner and read him the headlines.  


He had drifted off at some point and woken up with dry eyes. They’d eaten dinner holding hands and she let him curl up on her chest after, trying to rest before their early morning workout. He’d pressed his ear against her heart, the steady beat echoing throughout. His head moved slightly with every breath she took. The steady pulsating sound is one of his favorites, he thinks as he drifts off to sleep. He wakes up with crusty eyes and a crick in his neck, but a small smile on his face.  


Two days later he’s pressed up against her again, the coldness of the ice sinking into his knees. Her heartbeat, again, pounds into his ear, each rapid beat pushing her chest against him. She gathers him into a hug, notching her chin over his shoulder. They won that day, no thanks to him.  


2022  


It’s three weeks before they fly to Beijing and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop grinning. He’s normally a happy person but going through almost three weeks with a giant smile would cause some sort of suspicion.  


She’s a little more contained with her emotions, thrilled but worried and desperately hoping that everything would be okay. The blue paper gown crinkles as she runs her fingers over it, trying to smooth out the nerves.  


Everything so far had gone well. She was healthy and things were exactly where they were supposed to be. He’d been there by her side, asking questions and providing reassurance. He’s squeezing her hand when the technician enters, introducing herself and preparing the machine.  
She scoots down and props her legs, his hand still tight in hers. He sees her flinch as the technician inserts the probe and dims the lights, settling back in front of the computer screen. The tech slowly moves the wand, but he’s only focused on her face.  


“Do you want to say hi?”  


As if that was even a question. The screen spins around and he has to swallow the lump in his throat. It looks like some circles, with a flash in the center and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He kisses her hand and keeps looking at the screen, not fully believing that this thing is inside his wife.  


The sound of a heartbeat fills the room, fast and steady. She’s crying again as the tech moves the wand, the sound getting louder. Her eyes are trained on the pulsating flicker, so weird to think another life is inside her.  


They leave the office armed with printouts and he can’t stop staring. They’re curled up that night, his head on her stomach, staring at the pictures. He’s planting soft kisses on her skin and nothing could get better than this.


End file.
